Friday, May 23, 2008Those who know me well know that I like to do things s l o w l y.
Last week, I found my soulmate - Kinzie - who share the same sentiments as me. She believes in the goodness of turtle speed.
Top 10 Tips For Wasting Time [May/June 2008, AsiaSpa]
Resist all temptation to prepare shopping lists of any kind
so you can endlessly wander through malls trying to remember what it is you need to purchase.
Accumulate as much stuff as possible
especially clothing and technology, so you can take extra time to find anything you might be looking for in carefully unplanned piles. Never, ever throw anything away or donate unused items to charities.
Eliminate every form of filing system
that might organise contact details, passwords, banking documents, correspondence, warantees or personal medical, or legal information. (Yup, you can waste loads of time trying to find them when you need them.)
Subscribe to all available cable, broadband and satelite television services
in your area so you can channel-surf into the wee hours.
Carefully read every email message that comes into your inbox,
clicking every link, thoroughly exploring every website and opening ever attachment. With luck you will get a virus or worm on your computer and spend days with IT support. **I LOVE THIS!**
Get in the habit of forwarding email jokes
to friends, colleagues and even superiors. This not only wastes your own time, it effectively wastes others' time as well.
Respond to each item of work as it arrives on your desk,
avoiding any attempt to streamline your workflow or prioritise your activities.
Immerse yourself completely into every social networking site available on the Internet, carefully completing every section of your profile. Regulary update your status, upload photos, read every post you receive and share all forwarded posts with everyone on your lists.
Work long hours with no breaks and minimum sleep
to effectively reduce your productivity levels and increase the length of time it takes to get even simple projects done efficiently.
Reject any form of meditation practice
that may help clear mind traffice and improve focus.
[BONUS TIP] Never read the fine print.
That's right! Life is short, we should all travel at turtle speed. Then maybe we won't reach the end of the road so fast. More time, more things to see, more stuff to do. Yippee!
loves*sarah //
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Reading the newspapers these days is like taking an emotional rollercoaster. These recent weeks are especially bad. I never thought I would ever believe it, but I am starting to morph into a cynic, like the millions out there.
Seems like it all started out with the Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar and the whole fiasco with the stubborn military junta refusing to budge so as to make way for relief work. I got really really frustrated reading the articles because it was just so damn annoying that the survivors who endured the horrific disaster were going to die after all. Not because they weren't strong enough to tough it out, but because of interference from an irritating institution that have the cheek to call themselves government.
Then before the matter was even resolved, a quake hit Sichuan, China which measured a 7.8 on the richter scale. What was most heartbreaking were the pictures of crushed students under all that rubble and the cries of agony from their parents. There was this especially heart wrenching photo on frontpage - A guy gripping the hand of his dead schoolmate, griefing and wailing. It was hard to look at, but I couldn't tear my gaze off that particular picture.
Amid all the horrors of death, you also have your usual platter of chaotic political tidbits of power struggle, flying daggers and hidden threats. Obama versus Clinton; Medvedev the Putin's puppet; Sarkozy's dropping popularity; Blah blah blah. And the list continues.
Not that it isn't obvious, but the world is a bloody complicated place.
Luckily, throughout this entire week, I've gotten a fairly healthy dose of laughter that neutralised some the tears and sorrow. Barely, but you've got to take whatever life gives. Just in case you've spent the week being as disillusioned as I did, here are some funny questions for you to laugh your worries off:
(Extracted from 'Do Ants Have Arseholes? And other funny questions')
o1. If a synchronised swimmer drowns, do the others have to follow?
o2. Is it a biological coincidence, or a matter of funtion, that my index finger can fit perfectly into my nostrils, ears and bumhole?"
I feel so sad for the perp who asked the last question. He has obviously gone wayyy over.
loves*sarah //
