Thursday, October 05, 2006today i realise what is it like to screw up your future with your own hands.
i didn't go for the chem paper today. not because i can't go. not because i don't want to go. just simply because i misread the time. when mr sung called me to say i'm late for the paper. i could only stand there with the phone beside my ear. shocked. yeah that's the word. and when he told me i will not be allowed to take the paper i could only stand there and cry.
congratulations. i've just got my first zero.
i've been trying so hard, studying like mad, throwing away the life that i once had and enjoyed. so i can pass the exams and not be retained. no i don't want to be retained. hah! look how ironic it is. i ruined all the months of effort just by misreading that bloody piece of timetable. mom called the school to ask if they could make an exception. but of course why would there be? they told my mom i will not necessarily be retained, but whether i can be promoted or not will be based on other results. that's worst isn't it? instead of just passing all the subs now i need amazing results .
can someone tell me how to handle this mess? cos i really don't know what to do and how to face all this. i need someone to talk to. but there's none.
screwed.
loves*sarah //
